It's just who she is, bless her heart. Agnes never looks at a baby's face without first staring at the diaper and wrinkling her nose. Spring means bugs. Summer means heat. Fall means shorter days. Winter means heating bills.

Agnes was gently asked to resign from the Welcoming Committee of her local church because a typical Agnes greeting went something like this:

"Good morning, Mr. Smith. It's been so long since we've seen you here, I thought you might have passed."

So Jack was surprised when Agnes approached him in the feed store and said, "Hello, Jack. Isn't it about time for a new Them Jacks CD?"

"Well, yes, Agnes, it is. Thank you for asking. Shall I put one aside for you?"

"Oh, heavens, no! I never listen to that kind of music. And I certainly wouldn't pay good money for it. I just like to keep an eye on things."

As she walked away, Jack chuckled to himself and wondered if her maiden name was Defarge and she worked a secret code into the scarves she always seemed to be knitting.

While we still have our heads, here's the CD that Agnes Fiffle asked about, but doesn't want. Bless her heart.